The Coworker Sonnet

Today I was chatting online complaining about current coworkers. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE--this is a joke because I don't have any... because I freelance... because I work from home in my living room... ANYWAY, the only coworkers I have are my cats.

And I said, "you have coworkers, I have coworkers, and we all have to deal." Which made my friend online laugh: "hahahahaha."

And that made me think: I bet the things I love about my coworkers are the same things other people love about theirs:

 So I wrote a sonnet. You can read some of my other sonnets, if you're interested, about Cat Feet and Umbrellas. And never fear--there will be many more sonnets!

Coworker Sonnet

Coworkers, I love you more than bagels
Covered with stale cream cheese; I love how you
Stare at me from underneath the table,
And every day beg for bits of my food.

I love you, coworker, when you’re outside
The door, pleading for me to let you in
Because you lost your key; I don’t know why—
You will just want to go back out again.

And when you tap my arm so soft and sweet
I know that something foul is amuck
But still I offer you a fricking treat
Or else I know I’m just a sitting duck.

Coworker, I give your head a nice pat
I know you’re just a needy, hungry cat.

 Here are my coworkers having their lunch break. They like to discuss food at lunch.

Here are my coworkers having their lunch break. They like to discuss food at lunch.

 The whole team brainstorms how to solve the squirrel problem.

The whole team brainstorms how to solve the squirrel problem.

 Rowan stays up late nights guarding the offices from the elusive Mr. Mustache.

Rowan stays up late nights guarding the offices from the elusive Mr. Mustache.

 Here, coworker Wilfred and I work on getting the Cuddle Project completed by the deadline.

Here, coworker Wilfred and I work on getting the Cuddle Project completed by the deadline.

 Here Goblin works on what we like to call the "Fur Rug Project" or FRP for short.

Here Goblin works on what we like to call the "Fur Rug Project" or FRP for short.

 Here, coworker Goblin gets some very important filing done.

Here, coworker Goblin gets some very important filing done.

 Goblin and I discuss priorities for moving into the next quarter.

Goblin and I discuss priorities for moving into the next quarter.

 My coworker, Wilfred, does his best thinking upside down.

My coworker, Wilfred, does his best thinking upside down.