July Monster Report: Melc



Every so often, I ask Josh to stop at the grocery store after work to pick up one or two things. Well, yesterday, he did just that--some salsa, some lettuce, some roses (those were a surprise). When he got home, we sat down, ate dinner, watched some Supernatural, went to bed, all unaware that an interloper had managed to sneak into our home. 

The next morning, (that was today), Josh got up, showered, and went to work while I de-flea-ed the cats, walked the dog, you know, the usual. When I got home, I headed straight for the vase where I had put the roses the night before. I hadn't felt like trimming them immediately, so there they were, still in their packaging, just in a vase of water so they wouldn't die.

I trimmed them, put them in water, and took them up to my office. I sat down to work. 

Most of the monsters I've shared so far are enormous, but the truth is, they come in all shapes and sizes. There may be some so tiny that no one has discovered them yet. I have a theory that monsters cause a lot of things--disappearing tupperware lids, missing socks from the dryer, etc. At very least, it's important to be aware that monsters could be anywhere, and it's important to remember to pay attention, even in your own home where you think you're safe. 

This was one of those times when attention to detail is critical. I had music on while I was working, but I kept hearing a soft hissing noise. I thought maybe it was the sleeping dog, or one of that cats being weird, but investigating them turned up nothing. Then I thought maybe it was the HVAC being weird, but then I realized I hadn't even turned it on.

Then I noticed a thing, a tendril, sticking up and out of my bouquet of roses. Now, I might be wrong here, but roses don't usually move on their own, not quickly at any rate. I immediately grabbed them and took them outside where I dumped them out.

Inside was a melc! They're rather horrible creatures, honestly. They grow and move like worms with a mouth on each end, but are typically carrion eaters, always looking for the next dead thing to consume. That wouldn't be so bad, except that if they can't find dead things to eat, they just kill the closest living thing (that would be me, or the dog, or the cat). They are very slithery, and can grow limbs at will. They blend in pretty easily, usually looking just like a dead stick or leaf. They also always look happy, which while I realize is just humans anthropomorphizing them, it's still super creepy. 

Melc. Super creepy. Look how happy it is! Ugh.

Melc. Super creepy. Look how happy it is! Ugh.

Unfortunately, I was unable to kill it. It slithered out of the bouquet of roses and through the cracks in my deck. I'm hoping a bird ate it, but I won't cross my fingers. I left the flowers out on the deck, just in case. 

The moral of the story is this: Always stay alert! You never know where a monster might be hiding.

Watch out for monsters.

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