I'm Going To Disappear For A While

For those of you that don't know, Josh and I are having our wedding in exactly 11 days. 

11 is a great number. First of all, it is a palindrome. Secondly, it is a prime number. Thirdly, I liked being 11, back a few decades ago. And finally, I just like the number 11. 

In 12 days, we will be venturing into the wilderness of Northern NH, to enjoy some excellent wifi, a few mountains, and a lot of pizza.

During that time, you will likely not hear from me--though to be honest, I've been pretty much absent for the last month, too. But this time, there will be no blogging, no events, little to no social media--radio silence. Or computer silence I guess. 

I think we will have a good couple of weeks though. Here are a few predictions about what I think will happen over the next two and a half weeks. 

1. My mother will grow a second set of arms.

I think this is important because there will be a lot of things going on, and if she has a second set of arms it will come in useful. We may also acquire a set of cybernetic arms that we can link to her spinal column, if the whole nuclear material thing doesn't work.

2. An alien spaceship will descend upon my inlaws' backyard. 

I sent wedding invites to my biological family, and I think the chances are pretty high that they will make it, although, they did have to start traveling the day before I mailed out the invitations to get here in time. 

3. I will fight a bear and win.

I know the NH wilderness is full of wild animals, but when Josh wanders through the woods he makes a lot of noise, which will likely attract a carnivore or two. Don't worry though--I'm trained in the art of bear management, so I will save him.

AKA Josh Howard

AKA Josh Howard

4. Someone will spill something on my dress.

Probably wine. Or coffee. I mean, the dress is white. What else is the point of having a white dress, if not to be ruined by unforeseen circumstances?

5. The cats will go crazy.

It's just one of those things. It happens.


6. Robot attack.

This will likely happen towards the end of our vacation, leaving us stranded in a cabin in the woods. Don't worry though--I'm very good at scavenging for food and growing things. All I'll have to do is learn to hunt and we will make it through the winter just fine.

Anyway, those are my wedding predictions. What do you think is going to happen in the next two weeks? At any rate, barring nuclear war or the apocalypse, I will see you on the other side.